Are too many desires and wants and expectations the root of our evil? Do we paint a picture of what things should look like and accordingly try to make that picture real through all our actions, efforts and trials.
I just need to lay here for a couple more hours and keep pondering this. What the fuck is actually really important? Is it the Phillip Lim bag waiting in that virtual shopping bag, is it the huge project at work, is it the grand summer trip in the works?
More and more, as time passes, instead of wanting less, we end up wanting more.
I think for the first time ever, just yesterday, I thought, maybe it is actually wrong to want more. I thought to myself: 'fuck me for ever telling people they can have everything they want and MORE' (I do believe this though).
I'm rereading Paolo's 'The Alchemist' right now. This is the fourth time I'm reading it, the last time being a couple of years ago. It's a new book every time.
"Today I understand something I didn't before: every blessing ignored becomes a curse. I don't want anything else in life. But you are forcing me to look at wealth and at horizons I have never known. Now that I have seen them, and now that I see how immense my possibilities are, I'm going to feel worse than I did before you arrived. Because I know the things I should be able to accomplish, and I don't want to do so."
Here's what happens.
We 'bump' into people, into experiences, and into scenarios and situations that transform us. They transform our thoughts, our realities, our wants and desires. They sometimes give us an opportunity to peep into another world. A world that appears to be so much better than the initial one we started diagramming into our premature minds.
There is no such thing as coincidence.
These non-coincidental moments happened. I don't know why they happened, but they happened. And what follows...
inspiration, hunger, drive, desire.
All things we assume to be good, healthy things.
Some people, some experiences, some situations; they open our eyes and ears and minds.
They make us want things we never felt ourselves wanting before.
In turn we feel blessed. We feel blessed for having someone or something show us the other end of the spectrum.
We think: I can do so much more, I can be so much more, my possibilities are endless.
or maybe...
'...Because I know the things I should be able to accomplish, and I don't want to do so.'
So don't. It's fine.
It's like that cliche that we hear or site over and over again:
The poorest people, are the happiest.
The simplest lifestyles, are so much more authentic and fullfilling.
We say it, we see it, and yet, we drift in the opposite direction.
For more money, more success, more experience.
And once you start wanting more, more will be inevitably what you get.
It doesn't just stop, it's only the beginning.
It can be the beginning of something fatal, or something great.
More can ultimately mean less.
Let your more, be just that, YOUR more.
No one else's.
Determine it for yourself, don't have someone else's conquests, plans and inspirations skew yours.
Don't let inspiration be volatile. Don't let another's hunger be yours. Don't lose sight of the basics that fulfill you.
Or what if the answer is to just want less?
