A million thoughts go though my head as I glance at my phone indicating the 3 mile mark. I know I still have at least another 3 miles to pump out. With that, I turn up the song, elongate my spine and ask myself: how much further can I go today? How much can I push myself today? How much better can I be today?
This post comes inspired by Murakami's "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running."
I'm clocking an average of 30 miles a week running; a new thing for me. I run to stay in shape, to get frustration out, and usually for about 30 minutes till I am out of breath and dead tired.
My running philosophy has changed quite significantly in the last couple of months.
Murakami has come to be one of my favorite novelists and he is one of the main reasons why I have picked up several fiction books this year, in an attempt to read 50 books in 52 weeks. Aggressive.
I commute to work everyday and have about 45 minutes of metro riding time which allows me to finish at least one book a week and put my damn mobile away for a short time, opening the window of opportunity to connect with words printed on paper. This is my third Murakami book, with the forth one to follow as soon as I wrap this one up.
Murakami is a runner. A real runner; unlike me. He runs and trains for marathons. Runs 6 days a week, rain or shine. Sometimes in Hawaii, sometimes in Boston, sometimes in Japan.
"to keep on going, you have to keep up the rhythm. This is the important thing for long term projects. One you set the pace, the rest will follow."Running. Being a runner. Becoming a runner. Continuing to run, day in and day out, the act itself, has a much grander purpose to the human spirit. For Murakami, running, like writing, was a collection of willpower, passion, pain, gain and purpose.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Man this hurts, I can't take it anymore. The hurt part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand any more is up to the runner himself. This pretty much sums up the most important aspect of marathon running.The more the world modernizes, the more information that travels, the easier things become, the less likely we are to be put into a situation where we voluntarily agree to feel pain and suffering. The costs of progression because things are good...they are good enough.
Picking up running, long distance running, regular running, not only opened a window of time where I was free to just think and listen to music, but it also offered an opportunity to train myself, to push myself, to feel pain and continue endlessly, until that momentary pain became gratification.
I run to pass myself, not to pass others. I run to turn foggy thoughts into clear ones. I run to relive moments and taste them twice. I run to think about who I am. I run to not live a healthier live, but a fuller life.
What I think about when I am running:
I've been thinking a lot about kids and family.
My good friend, Micki, was the first out of my best friends to have a baby.
Group chats are filled with little palms, cuddles, family love, precious little moments. A conversation that is very new to G8 group conversations, but it's actually a nice change.
I don't know why, but maybe this is the naturally maternal side of being a women kicking in, but this has been consuming much of my running time. Watching someone so happy and in love makes one fond, makes one realize how much our lives are changing. We're are no longer in college, celebrating high GPA's while consuming cups upon cups of beer at beer gardens.
And while time ticks on my nike app, I think about how fast time has elapsed.
How much we are changing, how much we're evolving, how things will never really be like they were.
But in addition to this, the act of running itself has me questioning my own habits, accomplishments, and ethic. I can quantitate running. I can see my times improving, my distance growing. I can take note of why I am better and how I am better. Why am I not taking the same notes when it comes to other important aspects of my life; work, leisure, love, friendship, family, my passions.
Running in itself is a motivation and affirmation that there is so much room to push yourself;
to feel pain, but not to necessarily suffer from that pain.
And thus it has become a sort of escape. Exercise and meditation, if you will.
Time to reflect, time to remember, time to plan.
...and as the last few seconds of my running time elapses, I think to myself, this time is so precious.
