As a kid, I remember going to Europe one summer and coming back to find that my favourite radio station no longer existed (power 92, I know you all remember this). I was chocked to say the least.
My mother gave me this trait.
She really doesn't like change...to the point where my dad had to convince her for several years that the trees along side the house needed to be cut down and replaced with smaller ones. This is a running joke around our household...but seriously, we had to fight her to trim the hedges haha.
Why make changes when everything is fine? Why change something that isn't broken? Why can't things just remain as they are? Well...because change is inevitable.
Ironically, change is the only constant variable in this crazy life.
It's all a bit scary because changes no longer seems as minuscule as they once did. People in my age bracket are making big decisions, life changing decisions. These decisions, though exciting, dramatically change and challenge the webs we once coexisted in.
It's cliche, but it's true. When we're young, we want to be old and mature. When we're well on our way to adolescence, we have an urge to stop time. We want simple times. We want simple pleasures. We want simple happiness.
You either embrace the change or you continue re-reading old chapters in your life, effectively preventing your growth and development.
Never surrender the things you want because they involve change.
'Go with the flow.' How long does one go with the flow, until they are just too deep to do the opposite. I suppose it was this mentality that made recent changes easier. Because, the biggest tragedy of all, is forgetting about you and what YOU need and want.
I remember feeling a sense of under-accomplishment when I graduated from university, thinking about all the things I should have done that I didn't do, specifically studying abroad. When I was in college, my sights were geared to law school and thus the potential of studying abroad for a year or semester seemed like an opportunity to lose focus and that was something I didn't have time for.
I studied my ass off during my undergrad, wrote the LSAT and spent weeks on applications.
Then I had the..."is this really what you want, or is this what you feel like is wanted of you?"
I freaked out, cancelled my LSAT score and applied for an internship abroad. It all happened really quickly.
I felt like my only time to be abroad was as a student. After that time elapsed I always found myself asking: 'how different would my life be if I had left, even just for a little bit?' I didn't want to wonder, but I also didn't know how to make the changes when I was so comfortable and happy.
Things were going to change whether I was proactive about it or not. I guess the mentality was that at least if I was proactive, the change would be up to me, and not just a 'natural course of action.'
"You got to work hard and do for yourself because no one else is gonna go what you want for you."
These changes bring me to the feeling I am feeling right now.
EXTREME HOMESICKNESS.
There's nothing like being away for the holidays to make your heart feel heavy.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I miss Christmas traditions.
I miss hockey games.
I miss family dinners.
I miss home.
"Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have."
If anything, being away makes me more appreciative and aware of how lucky I am.
Grateful for the things I have.
Heavy hearts often open the gates to gratitude.
So this one's for everyone at home.
I miss you all and I am so lucky and so grateful to have you all.
May this holiday season unleash your gratitude.
May 2014 have nothing but love, laughs and accomplishments in it.
And one more thing...
don't be afraid to make some changes.
It is a new year after all, isn't it?
