another late night.
another Shanghai update.
another sleepless night.
If 8 hours of sleep a night is healthy, my body needs some serious sleep catch-up time...but in Shanghai, there's little to no time to catch-up. Between early mornings and late nights at the office, trying to stay in shape, going to social gatherings on the regular, volunteering, learning a new language with a, if I may add, fabulous tutor, and weekends that often blur into one day, one is left tired, yet feeling full of life.
Nonetheless, I am having a tame week. Reading, writing, sleeping (except tonight), doing lots of yoga and treating myself to lots of green tea and salad. I actually can't tell you how excited I am haha.
It's easy to get really sidetracked here. It's easy to get sidetracked anywhere, I suppose.
I got some good advice from friends here: 'Just stay true to who you are.'
In the midst of this chaos, it's important to take 'me' time. Last week I had some major anxiety about my to-do list and prioritizing. I left my house at 9pm and made my way back around midnight. I wandered and listened to the XX on repeat. It was the time with me that ensured a good week followed.
So this post is dedicated to the importance of alone time.
My new temporary roomie laughs when I tell her how much I love being alone.
She say's I'm weird.
I tell her that when I find someone sweeter than my solitude, that's when I will know.
I once felt bad for the people eating dinner alone at restaurants, reading a book, or going to movies alone. It was not until recent years that I had the clarity to realize that it is often those people who are the happiest.
At the end of my yoga class, my instructors used to remind us (I can no longer understand my instructors, but they did teach me how to count in Mandarin) to stop and listen to the beat of our heart, to our inner voice, to take the time in shavasana to just stop. You don't need to be in corpse pose to take the time to stop and listen. But for most people this is the only time they have time to be alone.
It's unhealthy how consumed we become with to-do lists. It's important to be productive and goal-orientated, but it's also just as important to feed your hunger for whatever it is you're hungry for. For some people that may be skateboarding on a Sunday, for others it's spending a day in starbucks downloading music and reading the Times. For me, it's often a late night run, followed by green tea and this; writing. It gives me peace.
It's important to appreciate your time with yourself, to enjoy it, to realize that loneliness and lonesomeness are two different things.
And lonesomeness in Shanghai ain't so bad. It usually means seeing parts of the city I haven't yet seen. Vintage markets, new breakfast spots, new stores to shop at (never short of those), reading on park benches and people watching, often laughing at the quirky habits that seem to be less and less quirky overtime.
I look forward to spending time with myself and that's a good feeling to have. I'm not lonely at all, if anything I crave time away from the busy, crazy times that consume 90% of my life.
In other news, I see that I missed a massive snowfall and I can't say I miss it one bit. But do I ever miss my friends and family. I'll hear a song and think of a friend and just laugh (versaceversaceversace- Marcela haha.). I'll eat breakfast and think of Nicole reminding me how crazy I am for not liking breakfast food for so long. I'll finish a jar of peanut butter and think of Becca. I'll see a bride and think of my B who's big day is just around the corner. I'll see the oilers score and think of my papa cussing at the TV while my mom laughs. I see the kids playing at the school by my house and think of Alex and Ana who are the one's I miss most. I'm often reminded by my sister and mom that they haven't forgot about me. I left a big bowl of candy for Alex in my old bedroom so he can always remember that aunty is feeding his sugar cravings. And little miss Ana has a bunch of jewelery and lipglosses to choose from.
We are not so much attached to places as we are to people (this coming from someone who enjoys lonesomeness). You can be in the best city in the world, but if you don't have bonds and relations with good people, chances are your time there will be pretty grim. I've been lucky to meet an unbelievable bunch of people here who have made my first three months here as a 'noob' that much better and that much easier. I am grateful for my SHamily (see what I did there).
Hope you're all staying warm in the great white north.
Sending love and a reminder to take some time to enjoy your solitude ;).
Yours in healthy eats, nights of sleep and p90x,
TJ.
