I had a conversation with a client earlier this week. She too relocated to Shanghai from Jersey, alone, however, she's in her mid fifties. It unfolded a little like this:
X: "How are you liking it here?"
T: "It's been great. Actually very comforting."
X: "Why, because you finally feel like you're not an odd man out?"
T: I sort of stopped with hesitation, but I knew exactly what she meant. She knew exactly how I felt. I stuttered: "yea, there are so many like-minded people here."
Everyone I meet here has such an interesting story. They are so ambitious. So energetic. Such go-getters. They make me feel under-accomplished, and not in a bad way, in a good way. They make me want more. They make me want to work harder. They all play a small role in the clarity I achieve each and every day.
At home, I'm a medium sized fish in a pond. Here, I'm plankton in an ocean. You often hear, "I rather be a big fish in a small pond, than a small fish in a big pond."
NOT ME!
Life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know. I don't want to be a big fish. Not yet anyway.
It's satisfying to know that millions of people out there have the same type of thirst for life. It's encouraging, it's exciting and most importantly, it helps one find a sense of home in a foreign place.
Today was a big day for me. I often struggle with this idea of: what is my calling, why am I here, where can I add value? I'm thinking 10 steps ahead instead of being present. I'm working on it...the being present thing. Clarity came out of the blue, as it often does. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Finally. FINALLY.
Apart from the philosophical shit, life is good and is filled with humorous, awkward and strange scenarios everyday.
This week I negotiated a contract for a gym membership with a man who knew maybe 10 words in english. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. Sweet jesus, thank god that's over.
I ordered banana bubble tea with pearls. I got a red drink with jelly.
I get off the metro everyday at the same spot, and still seem to take a wrong turn and look like a disorientated moron until I finally spot the white people drink stand (Starbucks) and then I am well on my way out of the tunnels.
I have also finally threw aside any hesitation I have when ordering food. I point to a picture, or something on a menu, in hopes that something tasty will come. This week that backfired...no regrets.
I had a cab driver yell at me for mispronouncing a street name. During his yelling, I could not help but laugh the entire time. At the end of it all, I made it home safe and he got a tip which was a pleasant little treat for him as tipping is not customary at all here.
I try something new almost every day. Today it was red bean ice cream. Interesting...
On weekends, I jump on the metro and get off at a different stop every time. This leads to simultaneous confusion and discovery. I saw a couple antique markets, ate some kind of weird crape, had coffee at a pretentious coffee house, and bought rosetta stone and US weekly. I also paid the avocado lady a visit. Westerner's in Shanghai know the avocado lady well, as her little shop in the French Concession offers hard-to-find imports that we all seek when abroad. She also has a bad-ass selection of wine and bubbly.
Though I am doing most of this all alone, I don't feel lonely. I feel fulfilled and excited and in control of my own agenda, every single day. Tonight, I got off work, ate sushi and sat at starbucks for 4 hours, doing this. Looking at NYFW updates. Reading articles on the Shanghai free trade zone. Watching youtube videos. Listening to the new 2chainz album. If you know me, you know that this is my type of night. Content consumption at it's finest.
There are barriers, there are so many bad scents, there are varying degrees of cleanliness. There are cockroaches and rats. There is humidity that makes my hair unbearable and impossible to style. In the midst of all this madness there is serenity.
This weeks Quote of the week: "Don't listen to anyone, everybody is scared." Jay Z.
Until next time.
TJ.