This is something I have been thinking about on the regular.
I'm trying to think of some of my favorite days.
When I was in Singapore, Jenn and I had this one day. The weather sucked, but we hustled out of the apartment and headed to Dempsey Hill where we sat at the PS. Cafe patio, while it sprinkled outside. We sat there for over four hours reading magazines, chatting, eating good food, drinking good coffee and the carrot cake, the carrot cake is SO BOMB. It was a day of good company, of good conversation, but there was also a lot of silence. The scent and breeze outside was most memorable. I remember reiterating to Jenn that I was just having the best day ever, and she would giggle and make fun of me.
There were many family trips to the mountains, but there was one in particular that I often go back to. We spent the day on the hill. We skied the Tayton Bowl at Panorama and I remember sitting down in the midst of the bowl and thinking: "holy shit is this real life?" I remember the dent I put into my snowboard and the chilli I ate for lunch. We spent the early evening at the hot springs and then played yahtzee for like 5 hours. We all passed out around the fire place. I remember how happy I was that day.
There was a day in DC where I walked to Eastern Market on Sunday and listened to Aloe Blacc on repeat. I remember the day very vividly. I got hummus and veggies, an iced coffee and I read POLITICO. I had a really good day, though it was a time I was in the midst of some turmoil in my life and I spent a decent amount of time releasing some necessary tears. I remember writing a note in my old phone, something along the lines of, mark this as one of your favorite days in DC.
Jason and I travelled quite a bit for the duration of our relationship, but one of my happiest days with him was not on a trip, rather in our home town. It was at second cup on Whyte Ave on a cold winter night and we sat in big chairs beside the fireplace. I don't know, nothing happened, we just sat there and read coffee shop magazines and chatted and joked. I made mention of that date to him many times, because I remember the way I felt that day; fulfilled and in love. It was one of those days where I would look with meaning and take mental images of the setting and of him.
Nwiedz and I moving out of our apartment in DC to move back to Canada after extending out lease and going to California instead of flying home and driving from California to Edmonton. I remember this day so vividly because it was such a SHITTY day, but it was so good because I spent it with Nicole. I was in a panic all morning, but I played our song on repeat in the apartment as it uplifted both of our spirits. Our friend Adam came by to grab a bunch of random shit that we were leaving behind. I remember where he parked his car and I remember saying good-bye to him and feeling heavy-hearted. I remember how tears streamed down our faces as we took the elevator down from the 8th floor of 555 Mass Avenue. We were leaving a home we build, relationships we fostered, but we were also leaving with something so incredibly important, a new type of bond and friendship.
My bag was like 40 pounds overweight and we laughed about the guys expression on his face when he saw the number and told me not to waste my time when I tried to 'shift' some things around to make it lighter. I remember the dad with the acid wash jeans and the brooks sneakers who had a really long ass. We laughed about that. I remember how hyper we were flying to Palm Springs and how many jokes we made. I remember the 10 song playlist we listened to on repeat. I remember all of it.
There was a date I went on with Percy. We spent the afternoon at Chapters on Whyte. We read books and magazines and people watched. We laughed lots cause that's sort of what we did and these are the moments where we really got to know one another. I remember the way I felt, the way he made me feel, the way I know I made him feel; it was new and fun and exciting. It was one of our first of many memorable dates we would enjoy that summer.
Folk Fest last summer. There was a night with a huge random group of friends drinking and listening to good music. The view of Edmonton never escapes my mind.
Micki's stagette and whale watching and quality time with some of my best girlfriends. I remember all of us sharing two queen beds and chatting. I remember everyone crying. I remember babysendz giving her drunk shpeal that brought us all to tears. I remember the pizza delivery guy and giving him my number so we could party with them later, but little did we know that bars in Tofino closed at 11pm. I remember wandering the beaches of Tofino together our last day and taking photos, and laughing, and just being with one another. Enjoying those moments.
I remember a night in college us girls went out to the Bank. All of them reading this know the night without me having to say anything further. Baby sendz again pulling through on rounds of drinks, watching two strangers carry friends into van cabs, kicked over buckets of puke and consumed contacts. I don't know if I have ever had such belly aches from laughing so much.
I remember leaving yoga with Elma last year when Jason and I had just broken up. I was so broken, I was so emotional and all I listened to was City and Colour. I remember how she uplifted me. I remember being so happy and appreciative of her and our simple and special relationship.
There have been many nights at Sicillian Pasta Kitchen, but one sticks. There were only four of us; Micki, Maria and Nicolya. I just remember the best conversation, and good wine and food. I remember laughing so much and I remember driving home that night listening to Norah Jones.
There was a day at home where I spent the morning at the Italian Centre drinking coffee and doing this, writing. It was before I moved and I was feeling all sorts of emotions. I remember the old man that sat next to me and asked what I was working on. I remember his advice: 'once your eyes are opened to something bigger and better, they can't look away.'
Of course there are more, there are thousands more of these uplifting moments. And the more I think about them, and repaly them in my mind, the more blessed I feel.
My best days are my best days for one reason and one reason only; presence.
Being there and no where else. Being so aware and so in the moment. They are such vivid memories and moments because I was fully immersed in them.
Above all, my favorite days are Sundays because I am most present.
You know, I'm not a romantic, but I can't wait to find someone to spend Sunday's with.
Sundays with coffee and silence at all the right moments. With walks and books and music. Laughter too.
Sundays were I'll look at [future you] with admiration and love and a grin. That grin saying: 'holy shit is this real life.'
An important note passed my desk today. It read:
'I'm not looking for love but I know i need it.'
And imagine if every single day made you feel like a good Sunday makes you feel.
I don't really just want to imagine.
How you spend your days is how you spend your life.
In other news, it's 2:30am and I have an interview tomorrow evening. TIME TO KICK SOME ASS.
Just a note to thank the complete strangers, the friends, and my online community for the outreach re: the blog posts as of late. I appreciate all your notes more than you realize.
There's lots happening upstairs (in my brain) and accordingly, these virtual blogger walls will be readily updated.
Yours in happiness, memories, presence and Sundays.
tj.
