My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain from you your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness… Let it kill you, and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. Falsely yours, Henry Charles Bukowski

Fragile love

Adam Agin

Who´s gonna love you?
Who´s gonna watch your back?
Who´s gonna take you?
Who´s gonna take you like that?
The more that you run
The more that you lose control
The more that I watch you
The more that I let you go

´Cause you´re blue as blood
And I´m thin on love
You come undone
What´s left here
What´s left here is a fragile love

I could hold you
But I´d just hold you back
I could reach for you
But you´re far off track
The more that I want you
The more that I forget your face
The more that I pray
The more that I lose my faith

´Cause you´re blue as blood
And I´m thin on love
You come undone
What´s left here
What´s left here is a fragile love

Never thought I´d let you see me so far gone
All I want is to see the hurt healed
And you come back here
Never thought I´d let you see me so far gone
All I want is to see the hurt healed
And you come back here

´Cause you´re blue as blood
And I´m thin on love
You come undone
What´s left here
What´s left here is a fragile love

I just need to know why´d you have to go?
This heart can´t take much more
What´s left here
What´s left here is a fragile love

 

Odyssey Years

a debate between freedom and commitment,
whether life is happier footloose or firmly rooted.

I was reminded.

It was as if he had a hidden spiritual layer that they lacked, 

terrors they could not understand, 

and aspirations they could not share. 

D. Brooks 

The Social Animal

I Come Apart ////// A$AP + Florence

I thought you said you'd never leave
I think back as I took a puff
Know what happens every time you wanna leave
Always come back 'cause you wanna fuck
Always come back 'cause you wanna fuss
Holdin' back, ain't no turnin' back when you fall in love
Know what happens every time you speed
Always fall flat 'cause you wanna rush
So we could take it slow
Separate the highs from the lows
Separate the evens from the odds
I just hope you put me back together when I come apart

I come apart, and you keep it together
I come apart, and I can't stand the pressure
In all your grace and fire for me, that I cannot compare
I come apart, this can't last forever
Can't last forever...

I woke up today high
Felt a little less pressure from you
And I'm here to say I
Make it even under lessons from me
If you find a way to fight the pain which we endure
If you fly away then rest assured...

You're the eye, but I'm tearing all the time
Always there to catch me, but I'm never coming down
Reconstructing all the pieces I left in my way
I guess you know, in control
Chaos I create
I come apart...

You made a bet with me, now you're in debt with me
Made my bed, lied in it, then you slept with me
It's ruthless, she the closest thing next to me
The truth is, that she blew it and you left with me
Especially hard to express to me
European attitude but born in West Philly
She just have a smokin' 'gina, where the Wet Willies?
I come apart, I'm in her heart on the left titty

`

"Suffering is due entirely to clinging or resisting; it is a sign of our unwillingness to move on, to flow with life.” 

 N Maharaj

Via desiretoinspire

our big brains are evolved to let local culture lead us in life’s dance...

We Aren’t the World

Joe Henrich and his colleagues are shaking the foundations of psychology and economics—and hoping to change the way social scientists think about human behavior and culture.

READ THE FULL PIECE HERE

Still, I had to wonder whether describing the Western mind, and the American mind in particular, as weird suggested that our cognition is not just different but somehow malformed or twisted. In their paper the trio pointed out cross-cultural studies that suggest that the “weird” Western mind is the most self-aggrandizing and egotistical on the planet: we are more likely to promote ourselves as individuals versus advancing as a group. WEIRD minds are also more analytic, possessing the tendency to telescope in on an object of interest rather than understanding that object in the context of what is around it.

The WEIRD mind also appears to be unique in terms of how it comes to understand and interact with the natural world. Studies show that Western urban children grow up so closed off in man-made environments that their brains never form a deep or complex connection to the natural world. While studying children from the U.S., researchers have suggested a developmental timeline for what is called “folkbiological reasoning.” These studies posit that it is not until children are around 7 years old that they stop projecting human qualities onto animals and begin to understand that humans are one animal among many. Compared to Yucatec Maya communities in Mexico, however, Western urban children appear to be developmentally delayed in this regard. Children who grow up constantly interacting with the natural world are much less likely to anthropomorphize other living things into late childhood.

Given that people living in WEIRD societies don’t routinely encounter or interact with animals other than humans or pets, it’s not surprising that they end up with a rather cartoonish understanding of the natural world. “Indeed,” the report concluded, “studying the cognitive development of folkbiology in urban children would seem the equivalent of studying ‘normal’ physical growth in malnourished children.”

During our dinner, I admitted to Heine, Henrich, and Norenzayan that the idea that I can only perceive reality through a distorted cultural lens was unnerving. For me the notion raised all sorts of metaphysical questions: Is my thinking so strange that I have little hope of understanding people from other cultures? Can I mold my own psyche or the psyches of my children to be less WEIRD and more able to think like the rest of the world? If I did, would I be happier?

Henrich reacted with mild concern that I was taking this research so personally. He had not intended, he told me, for his work to be read as postmodern self-help advice. “I think we’re really interested in these questions for the questions’ sake,” he said.

The three insisted that their goal was not to say that one culturally shaped psychology was better or worse than another—only that we’ll never truly understand human behavior and cognition until we expand the sample pool beyond its current small slice of humanity. Despite these assurances, however, I found it hard not to read a message between the lines of their research. When they write, for example, that weird children develop their understanding of the natural world in a “culturally and experientially impoverished environment” and that they are in this way the equivalent of “malnourished children,” it’s difficult to see this as a good thing.

Sea Cave in Algarve, Portugal

Trinidad Jame$ /////// GQ.

I was listening to "All Gold Everything" and one of the lines, you go through your "checklist" with the "OG Jordans" and "them high socks" while the whole wardrobe is basically made of gold. Where do you really see your taste of menswear rub off on your music?

The way I see it, music is reality. It's based off the life I actually live and the outfits I actually wear. So when I'm saying I'm going over this "checklist," that's what I have on right now almost: the OG Jordans and my high socks. But, when I perform it—hat's usually the song I do last—by the time I do this song, I'm at the pinnacle, I'm as hyped up as I'm gonna be. I want people to feel the energy of where I'm coming from and understand that I'm putting on a show for them. That's why I always need my OG Jordans and my high socks on—that's my fashion. You'll see me in the summertime, just chillin'. I'll pull out high socks, Jordans, no shirt, a snapback, beanie, bandanna—you never know.


Read More HERE

Radio - Lana Del Ray

This is my most overplayed song right now.
Something very soothing about it.
Particularly, the way "I've finally found you" eases into the hook.
Bliss.


Not even they can stop me now
Boy, I’ll be flying overhead
Their heavy words can’t bring me down
Boy I've been raised from the dead

No one even knows how hard life was
I don't even think about it now because
I've finally found you
Oh, sing it to me

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Pick me up and take me like a vitamin
'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah
Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

American dreams came true somehow
I swore I'd chase until I was dead
I heard the streets were paved with gold
That's what my father said

No one even knows what life was like
Now I'm in LA and it's paradise
I've finally found you
Oh, sing it to me

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Pick me up and take me like a vitamin
'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah
Baby love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
Baby love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
I've finally found you
Oh, sing it to me

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
Baby love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Pick me up and take me like a vitamin
'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah
Baby love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon
Like a fucking dream I'm living in
Baby love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Pick me up and take me like a vitamin
'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah
Baby love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio
(How do you like me now?)

Bryant Dope - QB

A$AP Rocky on Hypebeast

 

 

A$AP photographed by Jerry Buttles for the music section of the Hypebeast Magazine Issue 4: The Archetype Issue.

 A$AP Rocky interview feature by Davis Huynh.

Need to go pick this up. STAT

 

Currently Reading: Thinking Fast and Slow

"One way we have advanced beyond Hume is that we no longer think of the mind as going through a sequences of conscious ideas, one at a time. In the current view of how associative memory works, a great deal happens at once. An idea that has been activated does not merely evoke one other idea. It activates many ideas, which in turn activate others. Furthermore, only a few of the activated ideas will register consciousness; most of the work of the associative thinking is silent, hidden from out conscious selves. The notion that we have limited access to the working of our minds is difficult to accept because, naturally, it is alien to our experience, but it is true: you know far less about yourself than you feel you do."

-D. KAHNEMAN

you fit me better than my favorite sweater. 

You can live alone and love it

By Hannah Betts, The Telegraph

"As a conjoined person, I depended on one other, relegating friends to secondary roles. As I am a lone ranger, my friends are my life, and have literally saved mine. Lovers, too, are friends, becoming part of this tight-knit community, and have radically increased my depth of human understanding. The result — and it feels ridiculous even to have to state it — is that I am wonderfully content. If I meet someone I want to establish some sort of closer unit with, then, brilliant, if I don’t — equally brilliant. It all feels very adult, very happy, and very normal."

 Read it all HERE.

Common Denominator

Someone recently told me that a heavy heart is often a stimulus for thought, creativity, innovation and inspiration. Though we don’t want to admit that we need times of despair to bring us some sort of clarity, it is often a sad reality...

Today, it’s death. Our common denominator.

It is hell on our heart. It is an architect of anxiety. It is a trigger for emotional stress.

It is a natural course of progression. It is life.

The scary thing about death is that is becomes more and more real the older we get. The other day my co-worker was saying how her parents attend a funeral almost every weekend. I can only imagine the state of depression that we embark as we age…

A couple of months ago, I watched a beautiful family lose their brother, uncle, father, grandfather and husband, who was just shy of his 60^th birthday. He was taken far too early, but was greeted by his twin brother who passed the same and tragic way. I’m not a very emotional person, but the thought and sight of little P asking Santa to just bring his JaJa back really pulled at my heartstrings. I see my parents with their grandchildren and I witness the joy these little munchkins bring. I also see the pivotal role my parents play in shaping their lives. The same pivotal role my grandfather played in my life.

The last few months I watched co-workers lose young friends to cancer, friends lose parents and grandparents to illness. I mourned the loss of a dear pet. I watched once spunky seniors turn into quiet, monotone, depressed people. I watch my parent’s age and find myself trying to turn back [precious, precious] time.

Just last week, I saw somebody suddenly lose his mother. This in itself made me tremble with fear. My heart aches for him and his family.

Then I saw one of my closest friends lost her grandmother. A woman who survived travesty during the war and then missed the arrival of her great grandson by a mere two days. A woman, who once caught a bat, saved the wing to give to her grand daughters, in belief that it would bring the girls their soul mates. 

Though thousands of miles away, these precious people and the memories they leave us with, are impossible to forget and we can’t help by grieve.

Last night we sat in my bed and I said to her: “She didn’t suffer, she followed her natural path of progression, it is just life taking its course.” It’s difficult to find peace with this. And the only thing that we can rely on to help us heal is time. 

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." -Steve Jobs

This morning, I awoke to a call from across the world, to hear that my beloved grandfather had passed peacefully in his sleep. The last words were exchanged last Sunday were:

Deda: “When are you coming to visit?”

T: “I hope to be there this summer, Deda”

Deda: “Till then, I love you and I send my kisses.”

T: “Ljubim te, I volim te puno, Deda” (I send my kisses and I love you lots, Grandpa)

Deda: Makes that smoochy noise with his lips like he did when I was a wee one, scrubbing his whiskers all over my cheek, leaving residue of saliva and his favorite ale for me to whipe off with disgust.  

I could literally feel the roughness of his facial hair on my cheek as memories sailed in my mind. My heart sank like an anchor in a deep ocean and tears swept down my cheeks, each tear marking my tremendous love for a man who taught me so much. One of the most valuable lessons being how to choose a good watermelon. (If you didn’t know, it’s all in how the melon sounds when you knock on it.) These are the invaluable lessons I will forever cherish.

Our relationship was different than the relationships he had with his other grandchildren. I was the youngest of four grandkids, and thus the most spoiled. He never came over without candy or chocolate or ice cream. He always let me steer his big yellow truck, while he shifted gears. He never let me win at card games, until I got old enough to out smart him. He never forgot to remind me to wear socks, because if I didn’t I was guaranteed to be sick (my foreign counterparts can relate to this, I’m sure).

We clicked. We had chemistry. We complimented one another in all the right ways. And I knew that he loved me to the moon and back because I could feel it in the strength of his hugs and the sloppiness of his kisses.

My tears intermingled with laughs all day. He was a quirky man with zero patience, an aggressive attitude, but nonetheless, a soft soul who worked hard to help others. 

Now, may he rest. 

Putting this all out on paper makes me feel so much better. Brings peace to my uneasy spirit. Helps me cope with a difficult reality.

Death is a grim thing, but the reality is that we all have an expiry date. The end of time is a difficult thing to comprehend, but we’re not meant to comprehend it. Stop trying to make sense of what’s happening around you, because the reality is that everything is unfolding exactly as it should be.

We’re just picking up the pieces they left us with and carrying them on. Really, it’s actually so beautiful. Tragedy helps us recollect all those artifacts that were just sitting in our minds. Dust them off. Treasure them. Share them. Laugh. Cry. Sing. Smile. Breathe. They had many great, great years. Release your sigh of relief. They are off to a new chapter, but their presence will forever fill the creases, gaps and holes of your being.

Pull your heart from your gut and fill it with the same happiness that your loved one’s brought to you. 

Let me be cliché.

Time is precious.

Don’t let painful experiences remind you of this.

None of us come out of this world alive.

Be not afraid of death itself, rather, afraid that we will leave with important words and deeds left unsaid and undone.

And now, I leave you with this.

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.  It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once
more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

dunk of the year...

To supplement this insanity, some necessary humor....

“As the earth dies your spirit will bloom; as the world fades your soul will rise and glisten. Amongst the dehydrated crevices of a desert earth you will stumble upon your diamonds; in between the dry skulls and cracked bones you will find your sapphires.”                     -C.JoyBell C.  

“We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known."                        -Carson McCullers

My life was unnecessarily complicated.

Take a few minutes and read this Sunday opinion in the New York Times. 

Living with Less. A Lot Less. 

Graham Hill. 

HERE.